Saving-face refers to the desire to maintain a positive reputation and avoid losing respect from others.  It is a cultural value commonly found throughout much of Asia as well as here in Hawaii.  If a member of our 'ohana does something criminal and it becomes public, the 'ohana may make efforts to mend their reputation and respect. This may be done through gifts to the community and the victims of the crime.  Saving-face is like a form of restitution.  At least, this is one way it can present itself.  It can also be a desire to keep difficult issues to one's self or just to one's 'ohana.  

 

As a mental health counselor, folks come and share with me their most difficult of circumstances.  They are airing-their-dirty-laundry as the expression goes.  Legally, I and all healthcare providers are required to maintain patient confidentiality.  So, the dirty laundry gets aired out with only one person.  However, many are still uncomfortable with this and wish to maintain the value of saving-face.

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I studied mental health counseling because I wanted there to be more space for different cultural values in psychological therapy.  It was something I needed when I was young. 

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I’ve been mostly listening but some speaking with kapuna (elders), uncles, aunties, brothers, and sisters about the community, the needs and the abundant cultural values found here.  So many are struggling with the common affects found in colonized communities like increased rates of drug/alcohol abuse, domestic violence, poverty, and the list unfortunately goes on.  Many are struggling with the economic challenges of living in the most remote archipelago in the world.  Some just moved to Hawaii and are struggling with the cultural changes and don’t understand this.  The challenges in Hawaii are unique and there’s no shortage of them.  Many can turn to their kapuna to find help.  However, saving-face can even stifle some of these conversations.  

 

There is a need for psychological help but how?  How can we save-face and still get the help we need?

 

Sharing your issues is not essential to therapy.  It can be uncomfortable and it can even be re-traumatizing. Having the therapeutic tools to address our issues regardless of what they are, is all some of us we really need.  

 

It is so empowering to have the tools to aid us through painful emotions and situations.  This is why I’ve tweaked therapy to fit this community’s needs and values.  Counseling appointments can be in-person or through tele-health

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Therapy doesn’t have to be a painful process; it can be fun and ultimately healing.  However, healing always takes courage.  Be prepared to face your fears.  Sickness always involves some kind of pain or discomfort.  We are going to build a relationship with our sickness so we understand it and we can ultimately, heal from it.  Because of the nature of sickness, these tools are emphasized to be efficient and gentle.  Many cultures discourage the expression and discussion of painful issues and topics for a multitude of reasons and values.  Saving-face is one of those reasons and values.  These therapeutic tools allows you to uphold the things you value most, including saving-face.